all the little pieces

I know what I need to do and how to do it but I don’t want to do it or I can’t do it yet. It’s beyond salvation and everything but somehow I find myself going back over and over and over again. It’s like everytime i let go of it and I think I’m moving on a 1000 new arms grow back to attach me to it even more securely than before. Get rid of those and 2000 more appear. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever. What’s even stranger to me is that the futility is both the beauty and the tragedy of the process- blind determination. driven by the single force of your mind. And maybe, just maybe, that’s a little bit of what love is about. Anyway, hopefully sometime soon if you come by my house you will find a pile of burning arms in my backyard and meet me with only two arms and a pair of empty palms but till then…James Morrison gets me…and he’s amazing.   

I was going to post this yesterday but sleep took over so…yeah.

I went to Ridge church for the first time in a while yesterday morning and it felt like home.

Everyone always smiles at you and says hi and asks how you’ve been and dances with you during praise and worship and IT’S JUST A REALLY NICE FEELING that you probably won’t find anywhere else.

And I knew the guy who came to preach, because he was at teen camp, for those of you who’ve been- Pastor Panyin (you know the older twin) and he was really preaching like he was on my case.

It was about knowing GOD through the power of his resurrection and he really just broke the thing down ( I can’t begin to explain everything here lol- ask me the next time we meet ;))

And it all just made me realize how I really miss Church and the feeling of peace and sense of belonging that I find there.

MORE Church for me.